Dear Socially Challenged Duplex Mates,

I know your life must seem hard to you, and I know it is hard to believe that other people reside in this world for reasons other than serving you. But I would like to request that you follow some simple rules that your moms forgot to teach you. Honestly I should not have to teach you these, you both are older than I am and I feel most people should have realized the "unwritten" guideline by now but that apparently is not the case.

First if my outside light is not on and it is dark outside don't ring my doorbell, and if it is on and it is past 9pm don't ring my doorbell. I am sorry your wife has run off, she is not over here. I am sorry that is thundering and lightening outside and she has had enough so she has left. Also I am very sorry that your teen has lost her cellphone and you only have one car and your wife is out with the girls. Your emergency is not my emergency and maybe your teen does not value that phone as much as you do and should lose it.

Secondly, please stop collecting cats, although kittens are cute when they start numbering in the double digits they loose the cuteness. I am tired of hearing meowing kittys under my house, we have a cat and love it dearly but we only have ONE. Please close your garage door so not to collect more strays, strays have fleas and we don't like fleas. Don't assume every one else likes your cats and when you finally are forced to get rid of them 3 loads of cats is TOO MANY! It is your sign you have a cat addiction problem, when you open your door and cat urine can be smelled 5 feet away that is not pleasant.

Finally, please learn to not slam you door, honk you horn we have groceries or I am in the car waiting, and for gosh sakes buy your youngest daughter a second pair of pants. You may close your door without slaming I don't need to know your coming and goings. By slamming you make me cringe especially after 9pm when I am scared my peace is going to be distrubed. I am glad you have gone grocery shopping and are home but by honking the horn the whole neighborhood realizes you are home and honestly we don't care and especially if it is 7am and your dd will no come to car get out of the car and get her. An idea, take your dd cellphone the one she has lost and call and they can meet you at the curb therefore distubing NO ONE. I have lived here for 10months and have seen the same pair of pants on your daughter everyday that I have seen her. Please buy her another pair and if she has more than one have an intervention and make her wear something else. WE all know that the brown pair is her favorite but please change it, a nice pair of jeans would be nice.

I hope I have brought to your attention some ideas you might embrace. Remember the world does not revolve around you, other people live in this world and honestly don't give a darn about you. Honestly we don't all care about your daily life, just because I have pulled up and you are out feel free to not to talk and tell me your woes. I have my own problems and family and honestly don't care, go and talk with your wife, you children, or a cat that wonders by.

Signed,
your annoyed again neighbors