Homeschooling the Tween Years..The Joy and the Beast

We are in the middle of homeschooling our three tweens, yep that is them in the picture, our family is composed of 13yo, 12yo and 11yo. I am here to tell you that the tween years can be wonderful, yes today is a good day. Tweens are fun to be around and can be fun to teach, it all in how you handle it. Tweens are wonderful to do messy, complex projects with-they have learned the art for the most part on staying clean or they have learned what happens when they make a mess (this is when you are suppose to make them clean up). Most of the time if you are in a joking, fun loving mood they will be too.

I am here to tell you that you can love this time in your homeschooling life- I have been told by several wonderful hsing authors, whose names escape me, that this is the time when you are to work on all things they did not get while in elementary school. It can be considered a time of remediation or catching up, for instance one of my tweeners has a hard time in spelling so they are trying to get a handle on that. One is playing catch up in math so they can be on grade level. No we did not put everything on the back burner, we have become more structered in our science and history and started to take things to a deeper level.

This time is also a time when those sweet little tweeners become slightly hormonal and can be irrational at times. I am here to tell you that is normal, it will not and for the most part should not be tolerated. It can be very frustrating for the poor tweener who does not understand why they are so angry and why you totally lost when they stumped upstairs and why are the now sweeping the garage, driveway and deck. You can rest assured that eventually it will sink it, sooner or most likely later depending on the gender of the tweener in question.

But I am also here to tell you that to homeschooling a tweener can take more time than there elementary age counterpart. So if you have a friend, we will call "can't-make-her-mind-up-takes-an-hour-to-get-her-off-the-phone" Sally it might be an upsetting time for her. Tweeners take time to homeschool mostly because the just don't injest information they injest chew it around awhile and then have questions about their conclusions. So while they were in elementary school you could read that chapter of the wonderful history book and be done, tweeners might say, "Wow I understand now why the south was so upset about the ending of slavery, it was because there economics depended on that free labor!" Yep sometimes tweeners can be heard saying such wonderful things! This is the time when you need to make use of the wonderful answering machine and caller i.d. they are wonderful inventions made to take care of the infestations of Sally's that we all seem to know.

Tweeners are also able to take on more the responsibility of their work becoming theirs-yes that will take some training but it can be done, if I can do it with my kids anyone can do it. I do make daily schedules for readings and "core" subjects but for history I give them a list of things to be done at the end of the week and for the most part they are done. This did not happen over night it took a couple of months but we normally all sit down and do some work. They are normally reading history while I am doing some grading or working on some co-op lessons. That way they see me working also and know they are not alone in the tortures, I mean work.

One great advantage with older tweeners is you are able to plant seeds and watch them grow. Sometimes a tweener might be come up to and say things like, "My friend "such and such" is going with "such and who." Don't overreact don't lose it, you can say simple things like, "I hope she doesn't get hurt, I really hope she guards her heart." Leave it at that and watch how it sometimes bloom, one of my tweener experienced this and has learned from her friends heartache (yes it 13yo) and just doesn't seem that interested in "relationships." One my other tweener discovered that he can listen to others without being defensive, one day that tweener went out and tracked mud all over the place. The tweener cleaned up the carpet with help from a spotbot and vacuum but left the downstairs, tweener was told twice to clean it up by me (twice is my limit with this kind of thing) and the count down started. Forty-five minutes until dad got home will he make it?? Well oldest tweener said to him at 15 minutes until dad came home, "Tweener... ohh, my dad is going to be home soon!" That was all it took, the seed was growing...your work must be done or there will be consequences (yes I could have lost my mind with him to get it cleaned up sooner).

This can be a trying time tweeners are known for making their moms lose their minds at least once per week. I do and it is o.k. this too shall pass. With three tweeners I am only losing my mind once per week I think that is pretty good. And contary to popular belief you can take a mental day, I did this last week, actually it was a mental morning and the homeschooling police did not come for me. We got together that afternoon and it was fine and mom didn't say anything that tweeners might chew on and grow into something it wasn't meant to be. Tweeners also sometimes need a "mental" day remember they are going through changes and I have read, again somewhere don't know where, that when a child goes through "changes" their mind totally reconfigures they WAY it thinks and all its connections. So they are going through some "mind" issues at times, so when they give you that look like I totally forgot how to add fractions even though we have been doing it for 6 weeks, they might have.

So again to recap this can be a wonderful time for you and the tweener and gee if you are lucky enough you can all be hormonal at the same time. But honestly it is a great time, to be enjoying their growing minds, their discovery of the outside world and to plant those seeds. I did not really enjoy the elementary years with my kids, should have but just didn't, but as I look ahead and realize I only have seven years left in this chapter of my life, I must enjoy what we have left. Next year the oldest tweener will be in high school and soon the tween years will be gone. So please enjoy your tween and be able to laugh with them and be able to enjoy their antics because tweeners are filled with them. Love this time with them because it will be gone before you know it!


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